Hi folks, here’s the boat I was on when I decided to ask for
your help. Yes, the same boat where I got stalked. J The Gulls? Oh yes, for all you whale
watchers, when you see large numbers of gulls wheeling about over the water
like that, it usually means whales are feeding in that area. So, on to my
dilemma.
My new book will soon be ready to launch, but first we need
to make a few decisions. First we need to finalize the title. There are two
options, Hunter and Offspring. I will post one option, Hunter, today and a
small excerpt. Later this week I will post the second option, Offspring, with
an excerpt. With any luck by next week I will be able to show you the two
possible covers. So here goes:
Hunter
It was a dark moonless night on a
primitive planet, the air filled with new and different scents, but the woman
caught the scent she wanted. The enemy was near. Her big problem right now was
to keep from throttling the tall youth who accompanied her.
“I should go with you,” he said softly.
His eyes flew wide as her steely grip
tightened on his throat, choking off the sound. She released her grip and
leaned close, her lips brushing his ear and sending far too much of his blood
away from his brain. The ice in her voice shattered his arousal and brought him
back to his senses. On the ship she might be a coquette, but on assignment she
was the Hunter. He swallowed hard as she spoke, her words so soft he could
barely hear them.
“Make no sound, none. Remain here,
remain very still. Have your weapon ready; I will illuminate the target; you
make the kill. Do not try to follow me; do not try to help me. Stay alert and
ready. Do you understand?”
He gulped again as he nodded his head.
She was gone into the darkness before he could blink. The young agent slowly
and carefully positioned himself; his long range weapon facing what he hoped
would be the right direction. It would be, he knew; she had said it would.
I need all the help I can get here folks, so any feedback
you can share will be greatly appreciated.
Now on to the ROW80 goals and progress report.
1.
Finish the first draft of my current project and
get it off to my editor. CM Crawford is
a great editor and has very reasonable rates. Heck, she’ll even work for Amazon
gift cards. The girl loves to barter. You can find her page here:
Done, and I just got it back. She sometimes
edits on the fly (I make corrections and do rewrites while she works on the MS)
so this will be very close to the final product.
2.
Get the next project over 15K words
Done!!! I had one super productive week
last week.
3.
If Ms. Crawford gets the first project back to
me in time, finish the second draft during this round. If not then I will
finish and hopefully publish it during the last round.
It looks like I will get this one published this round.
Probably in the next two to three weeks.
Yes
indeed folks, play time is over, we’ve got work to do! I really want your
opinions here so all feedback is welcome.
Posts
The excerpt definitely draws you into the action, makes you want to know more about the situation, world and characters and creates generous amounts of multi-dimensional tension. So, I'd say nicely done :)
ReplyDeleteYour writing pace is amazing to watch, Pru. You are a real inspiration to many of us who are a bit newer to the path. Keep it up! Have a fantastic week :)
Thanks for the kind words Gene. Glad you liked it.
ReplyDeleteBlogger just ate my comment. So wow. Exciting snippet! I agree with everything Gene said. I look forward to the next installment.
ReplyDeleteYou are a true inspiration!
Sorry Debra, I forgot to feed Blogger this morning. sigh
DeleteHello, Prudence. Loved the story and the immediate conflict between Hunter and raw recruit. I'm new to ROW80 so am unsure what level of feedback you want. Here are some suggestions:
ReplyDelete1. Try to avoid starting a first sentence with "it is" as there's no point of reference. Maybe: "The night was dark and moonless." I'd also go after that echo for "scents".
2. Try shorter paragraphs for such high intensity writing to draw the reader in.
3. Watch out for point of view shifts. At first I thought this scene was from her point of view -- then it shifted to his. A little confusing. I've been told to keep a scene to one point of view, if that helps (but tough to do).
Write on! This would draw me in, and I love your emphasis on strong female characters, a goal I also strive for. Hi from Beth
Noted, Beth, and thanks for the feedback. All good suggestions.
DeleteIs this a new installment to follow The First Key?!! Or perhaps the story that was included with it? In any case, I'm looking forward to more! Keep up the great progress - you're rockin' ROW80!
ReplyDeleteHi Jennette, sorry, this isn't the second key, this is something new that demanded to be told. There'll be a bit more soon.
DeleteGreat progress on your goals! How exciting to be so close to the finish line.
ReplyDeleteAs for choosing Hunter or Offspring--is the story about the Hunter in the above excerpt? In that case, Hunter seems like a really good choice. Overall, I'd also be more inclined to look at a book called Hunter. It's more active than Offspring and implies movement and exciting things to me.
Can't wait to hear what you decide.
Hi Kim, thanks for the feedback. I am leaning towards Hunter myself for that same reason.
DeleteI confess, I had to push myself to read through this except, Prudence. Odd too, since most of your other writing has grabbed me right off the cuff. The first sentences...
ReplyDeleteThat said, the rest of it was good. Very good. And Hunter does have more impact imho...but Offspring makes one wonder--what brought us here?
Hi Eden, thanks for the feedback. Trust me, I will take it in before I publish. I appreciate the honesty. Stay tuned! :)
ReplyDelete